Chicken Dinner

Going into the week, discouragement got the best of me. I was questioning my purpose and feeling lonely. I was exhausted and running dry from a full weekend that required a lot of waiting and patience (including a three hour Kenyan wedding ceremony). The next two days were to be spent at First Love Children's Home. There's a special spot in my heart for this place but my energy and expectations were low.

My room with a view

When I arrived, there were only a handful of kids there. The rest had gone to visit relatives for the holiday including my sponsored girl, 15 year old Caroline. Great. No problem. It's just that I've come half way across the world to see her. And although the children were friendly, they acted less than thrilled by my presence. Quite a change from my Mombasa trip to see Collins. I quickly knew this visit would look very different and on that day, I decided to just BE. Be with the girls even if they didn't give me the warmest of welcomes. Even if they spoke mostly in Swahili. Even if they ignored me. I chose to sit with them, do nothing and hoped that it would communicate how much I cared for them. Only one girl, 16 year old Fridah, was an attentive friend.

With Fridah and little Richard

The first afternoon, she wanted me to help her study her "Business Studies" school notes even though her first year of high school was finished. Fridah is a girl who knows what she wants - to be a doctor and study law so she can help others. She talked to me about mature things like love and relationships and how her culture plays a role in all that. At night, all the kids and I sat in the girls' living room watching spanish soap operas dubbed in English. Fridah made sure to catch me up on all the details of the storyline so I wouldn't be lost. Then the power went out and we stood on the porch waiting for the generator to kick on before heading off to bed. Earlier in the day, one girl, Dama brought me a plate of bread and peanut butter for lunch, however, I politely declined and asked if I could join them instead. They were a little confused because most visitors aren't fans of Kenyan food like sukuma wiki (cooked greens) and ugali (maize flour mush). Personally, I love it and was so happy to eat every meal with them. Thankfully, the next day Caroline came to visit me for a few hours. She is staying with her siblings and grandparents for the holiday and I learned that sometimes they don't have any food to eat. I know she cares so much for her family and would think it dishonoring to not be with them for Christmas.

Caro and me

Caro is one of the lucky ones...First Love keeps her well fed and taken care. They have given her opportunity for education and a better life. I wasn't hurt about her not being overly excited about my visit. I am one of many sponsors that visit First Love regularly. We chatted some and I gave her a backpack and a photo album. We took fun pictures together and I know she was glad I was there. The fact that she even came on her own was enough. Her visit was a good reminder to take off my "me" eyes. After taking lunch of rice with tomato and onion, we saw Caro off as she walked down the dirt road to catch a matatu back home. The afternoon consisted of a lesson in Kenyan cooking and hospitality. "Auntie" and the girls prepared chapati (white flour flat bread).

Making chapati

They were a chapati making factory and it was a special time to sit among them as they talked in their language and cooked, occasionally pausing answer my questions. I tried to help but was shortly fired :) Later, I rode bikes with Juliet, the youngest of the girls there. I had spent most of my time with the older girls and I could tell she was excited to have some attention. I'm a lousy bike rider and Juliet had a few good laughs at my expense. Hours before dinner, Fridah presented me with two live chickens - roosters to be exact - and asked which one I wanted for dinner. LOL. It didn't matter that I'm not a meat eater (they had no idea). I picked the chicken that weighed the most. The white one. Poor guy gave his life for me. Although later I wished I had picked the other one because it wouldn't stop "cock-a-doodle-dooing!" Maybe it missed it's compadre? So the white bird lost it's life right then and there. I was invited to observe the slaughter but I just couldn't.

Bye bye birdie

Once it was de-feathered and resembled something in the meat department at the grocery store, then I could watch. I was truly so appreciative of their chicken sacrifice. I honored this Kenyan tradition by eating the chicken stew with chapati for dinner. The evening concluded with more soap operas and watching the girls un-braid each others' hair. When it was time for bed, Fridah insisted that she sit with me at my bedside until I fell asleep. The sweetness of the moment was more than just a teenager not wanting to say goodbye to her new friend. It was deeper. A gift from God of love and affection: Although you feel lonely, you are not alone. She tucked me in like mom would do and then sat down on the side of the bed. Our conversation was punctuated by short minutes of silence except for my breathing. Finally, I "released" her to go to sleep and she made me promise to wake her up before my departure. In the morning, I took tea and woke up Juliet and Fridah to say goodbye. The others were awake and could barely muster up a hug to send me off. It didn't matter to me though. I am so thankful for the Girl who was my loving "guide" into stillness and rest and just being present.